FIND the WAY

Phase 20: The Reason of Betrayal

2009-12-21T21:41:00.000+08:00

Before I start this entry, I'd like to clarify that this is mostly not about me but a topic which have been brought forth by my otaku nature.

Bleach: Zanpakuto Filler Arc

This is Muramasa. A materialized soul slayer (zanpakuto) which has the ability to control the will of other soul slayers. He awakened the instincts of the soul slayers in Soul Society and started the Zanpakuto rebellion.

These are the major Zanpakuto (soul slayer) that he had under his command [excluding Byakuya].

[ From left: Haineko (Rangiku's Zanpakuto), Zabimaru (Renji)]

[From left: Gegetsuburi (Omaeda), Tobiume (HInamori), Hyorinmaru (Hitsugaya]

[From left: Katen Kyokotsu (Kyoraku), Sogyu no Kotowari (Ukitake) Ashisogi Jizou (Mayuri) Gonryomaru (Sasakibe)]

[From left: Kuchiki Byakuya & Senbonzakura, Sodenoshirayuki (Rukia)]

In the filler arc, it was exciting enough that the soul slayers had materialized and fought their own "partners", the shinigami who wielded them. But the biggest question in my mind was:

WHAT IS THE CAUSE OF BYAKUYA'S BETRAYAL?

What could be his reason? I believe that he is not the kind of person to join such a thing as an uprising nor any law-breaking act. As far as most Bleach fans know, he didn't even save his own sister/ sister-in-law (Hisana's blood sister) from unjust execution just to uphold the oh-so highly regarded Soul Society rules. As a leader, he believed that by obediently following the laws that govern their system, he is doing well as a model for those others. But to think he will side at Muramasa...what is going on in his mind? Well, he did say that it was "to protect his pride". But what could be Muramasa's connection to this pride he refers to?

Then this man came into the picture (the episode 250, rather).

This is Kouga, Kuchiki Kouga. As Kuchiki Ginrei's son-in-law, he had a lot to prove among his peers at Seireitei. Of course, no "useless man" is accepted in the highly noble lineage of the Kuchiki. And he is Muramasa's original master.

Everything that Muramasa did was to unseal Kouga. But Muramasa did not expect what Kouga has instored for him.

So there. Bleach 250 left me with clues as to why Byakuya acted that way. At least, I'm relieved that I finally understand a bit about what's going on in Byakuya's head. I am enlightened. That's it for now. Gotta get some rest! Cha- byebye =3 (GIN-STYLE)

Phase 19: It's Best That To Understand

2009-12-16T18:05:00.001+08:00

TOPIC: BEHAVIOR OF STUDENTS TOWARDS PARENTS STRICT UPBRINGING

BOOK SOURCES:

Wilson, E (1978) On Human Nature

Harvard University Press, London, England

Human behavior is something that can be defined with fair precision because the evolutionary pathways open to it has not all been equally negotiable. Evolution has not made culture all-powerful. It is a misconception among many traditional Marxists, some learning theorists and a still surprising proportion of anthropologists and sociologists that social behavior can be shaped virtually any form. Each person is molded by an interaction of environment, especially his cultural environment, with those genes that affect social behavior. The young are molded by a long period of social training, first by closest associations with the mother. The children create a complex social world around their parents over a period of months.

Dreikur, R and Cassel, P (1972) Discipline without Tears 2^nd Edition

Hawthorn Books Inc., New York

The child is an excellent observer but a poor interpreter. In the family, the child develops his own concepts about himself in his transactions with parents and siblings. If training were as simple as setting a good example, we would not find so many irresponsible children coming from homes and schools where the parents and teachers are so responsible. So often what we do correct a child is responsible for his improving.

Bradshaw, J (1988) Bradshaw on: The Family

Health Communications Inc., Deerfield Beach, Florida

Closed system families are families in which the connections, structures and relationships are fixed and rigid and the process patterns remain essentially the same. In this type of family, the feedback loops are negative and work to keep the system frozen. This is called dynamic homeostasis. The more one tries to change it, the more it stays the same. Feedback is also maintained in families by rules that govern the system. These rules can be overt such as “children are to be seen and not heard”. Each has idealized parents and their parents’ rules. They raise their children the way their parents raised them. Their children are shamed the way their parents were shamed. The cycle goes on for generations. Once identified, the child carries the parent’s feelings and beliefs. In a functional family, the children are not constantly judged and measured by their parents frustrated and anxiety ridden projections. Some parents are struggling to regain the power they once lost to their own parents. The most available object of gratification for narcissistically deprived parents is their own child or children.

Cowan, B (1977) a Family Is

Copp Clack Publications, Toronto, Canada

Children who are shy, timid and afraid to do things may have been overprotected by a family who did not give them the opportunity to do things for themselves. If children are continually punished for misdeeds and tantrums, one of the two things happens. Their natural curiosity and self confidence may be destroyed or they may learn not to express anger and instead feel frightened by and guilt about bad thoughts. Failure to meet expectations can be damaging, especially when parents show disappointment. Disciplining older children is not as simple as it is with preschoolers. Older children are learning to make their own decisions and need to be given the opportunity to learn the consequences of their actions. Some cases of misbehavior may only be considered wrong in the adult eye. Misbehavior of a particular kind that continues for a long period of time may indicate specific problems. The common discipline methods are as follows: nagging, bribery, threats, penalties and physical punishments. An over-strict parent causes children to become anxious and fearful of doing something wrong that they are afraid to do anything on their own and feel a real sense of guilt for any action that might not be approved of by parents.

Walberg, H, Reyes, O and Weissberg, R (1997) Children and Youth

Sage Publications, Thousand Oaks, California

Parents are watchful over their youth’s time, space and relationships. There is constant monitoring of the adolescents’ friends in an attempt to encourage friendship with youth who are worthwhile. Adolescents begin testing the waters of independence by testing the family rules that had once gone unquestioned; they request a voice in family matters and insist on making their own decisions.

INTERNET SOURCES:

http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/parenting_styleschildren039s_temperaments_match

Giving Back Children their Childhood

As all parents know all too well, parenting is complex, and there are no easy answers. The interaction of many specific actions and attitudes on the part of parents come together to affect a child's development. Parenting style refers to the broad overall pattern of parental actions, rather than to a single act. Description of parenting styles grew out of the work of Diana Baumrind and other researchers in child development. They looked at children who had the qualities most parents would want in their children: independence, maturity, self-reliance, self-control, curiosity, friendliness and achievement orientation. An example of a parenting style is the Authoritarian type. This parenting style means that parents are extremely strict and are highly controlling. They dictate how their children should behave. They stress obedience to authority and discourage discussion. They are demanding and directive. They expect their orders to be obeyed and do not encourage give-and-take. They have low levels of sensitivity and do not expect their children to disagree with their decisions. Children of overly strict parents are apt to be reliant on the voice of authority and to be lacking in spontaneity.

http://www.swissinfo.ch/eng/Strict_upbringing_can_harm_children.html?cid=5214126

Strict upbringing "can harm children"

An authoritarian upbringing can have a negative impact on children's results and integration at school and their sense of self-worth, according to a study.

The Swiss National Science Foundation (SNSF) research into education and discipline at home found that children from "participative" rather than strict families do better at school.

The study, which advocates an open upbringing rather than tough love, comes at a time when many people are pointing the finger at parents for their children's aggressive behavior and problems at school.

It also found that young children whose parents listened to them and involved them in decisions at home showed greater self-worth and integration at school, irrespective of the socio-professional level of their parents, the language spoken at home or their family situation.
When parents were stricter with their children, particularly the younger ones, self-respect was particularly low.

http://parenting.families.com/blog/can-you-be-too-strict-with-teens

Can You Be Too Strict With Teens

Too strict discipline comes in two forms:

There are parents who are strict with kids pretty much from birth so the kids dare not defy them. These kids give the parents little trouble, but they also end up not being able to think for themselves as they are too controlled by their parents. There are also parents who suddenly become strict when the child reaches puberty. This is common with fathers and daughters. This kind of too strict behavior when there was previously a relaxed loving relationship results in pushing the child away and alienating them. This child will surely rebel and exhibit the exact behavior that the parent is trying to avoid. But what qualifies as too strict? Too strict discipline borders on abusive and sometimes even crosses the line. Kids need room to make mistakes, especially in the teen years. If they disobey a direct order, or repeat a bad behavior, by all means, parents can punish them, but if they were truly in error, no more than a firm talking too is necessary. Teens who never spend time outside of the classroom with friends, will quickly find themselves friendless. By never letting them go out or making them turn in hours before everyone else, parents are being unreasonable in denying them a social life. Once the kids are teens, spankings, if parents believe in them, should be a thing of the past. Teens are old enough to reason and have mature conversations, hitting them is unnecessary. Some parents make kids to push ups, and others make them clean the garage for major infractions, and that is acceptable, but if they have to do push-ups every time they open their mouths, or if they are subject to military school type punishments, then the parents may be going too far.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1165156/Why-children-best-strict-parents.html#ixzz0ZLQa73Wx

Why Children Do Best with Strict Parents

Children are more likely to grow into well-adjusted adults if their parents are firm disciplinarians, academics claimed yesterday. Traditional 'authoritative' parenting, combining high expectations of behavior with warmth and sensitivity, leads to more 'competent' children. The notion of "good enough" parenting may seem ideal in today's hectic world, yet the reality is that "good enough" parents will most likely produce "good enough" children at best. The best parenting was characterized by high expectations that children would act with the maturity befitting their age. Supervision and discipline are also keys, as was responsiveness to children's needs.

http://www.teenissues.co.uk/CopingWithStrictParents.html

Coping With Strict Parents

Sometimes parents set rules because they fear for their children’s safety. Sometimes parents set rules because they don’t think that their children can do it for themselves. Sometimes parents set rules to stay in control or to bring about a desired outcome or simply because they can. Regardless of why parents set rules teens must learn to live within these guidelines. But what happens if parents are overly strict? Then teens must learn to cope.

Often teens don’t recognize that they have strict parents until they brush up against a rule that they don’t like. If this is the case for you, don’t bother yelling and screaming about the unfairness of it all because chances are your parents will just flatly ignore you. Instead, meet your parents in the middle. Ask them to sit down with you to discuss:

Every rule under which you operate.
The rules that you understand and respect.
The rules that you feel are unfair.
The reasons why you feel that these rules are unfair.
The reasons why your parents feel that the disputed rules are necessary.
Possible compromises regarding rules that could be relaxed.

Most parents make rules in the best interest of their children, but sometimes they go a little overboard. If you are coping with strict parents, do your best to speak with them seriously about their rules and the effect that they are having on your life. Show your parents that you are committed to compromising and you might be pleased with the results. But if things don’t go your way and you truly believe that your strict parents are affecting your life, and then consider asking for help from another trusted adult. Whatever you do, be ready to commit fully to any compromises that your parents offer and don’t ever make them regret their decision. Remember, regaining lost trust will be harder than it was to bring about a compromise in the first place.

Phase 18: It's Yes but also No

2009-12-04T21:22:00.000+08:00

Ahh, I can't believe how time passes by oh so swiftly! The projects seem to pile up and I absolutely had not started in anyone of them. It's entirely my fault! My irresponsibility drags others to sheer oblivion. The catastrophic consequences of my dire iniquities are remarkably incredulous. I can only wish that someday I'd be able to have my priorities straight. I feel I have no time to do a particular activity yet in actuality I am doing nothing at the moment. How insanely stupid! Unfortunately no amount of physics nor a certain Black Butler can ever rescue me from this paranoia turned hopeless dilemna...But I have yet to lose hope! I am a youth therefore tomorrow sides with me. Think positive!

Phase 17: Dropping By

2009-11-30T15:44:00.000+08:00

It doesn't really hurt when I drop by here for a while. I believe things are going to get busy the next week. Things have been piling up but I haven't attended to them yet. How irresponsible of me! I posted some videos on YouTube. Check them out under the username- iamzerokira. Anyway, got to go. By the way, after joining a bit of the norm side, I learned some thing in Indonesia that I never knew before. Well, this means I ain't Indonesian. I also had the chance to chat with a Hitsugaya- loather. Nice guy. Sebby-kun, you're so kawaii!

Phase 16: Change of Views

2009-11-28T16:27:00.000+08:00

It's been ages since I last wrote here. I have a Facebook account now, just like everybody else. It's not that I'm okay with the norm now though. Pretty much like a ninja, I hid my identity. Sneaky and quite stupid, right. Life is so hard but it's fair. I have a feeling that instead of writing a cliched review of the first semestral activities of the school, I must write about this generation of student's passiveness. That's the case. Anyway, I converted back to Naruto and I still pretty much am infatuated with Sasuke. I admit. Wow! Sasuke faced Itachi on episode 135 of Naruto Shippuuuden. Not only the Uchihas are cool but the theme song "Sign" too. Especially when Naruto had a screaming part. Bleach had become pretty amazing too. The Zanpakutos had materialized and fought with their masters. They rebelled! And Byakuya too, I can't understand him. But if he wants to protect his pride, I'll support him all the way...even if he dies like L and Light, Lelouch too...even he assumes revenge and spreads hate through an all-out ninja war like Sasuke...or risk dying and getting no air time like Kanda....or be executed like Fire Fist Ace..or like Ulquiorra and...and....It's absolutely fine...it's love! Tonight love is rationed. Anima Rossa of Bleach is also good!

Phase 15: Bienvenue Demain

2009-10-03T15:22:00.007+08:00

I can't believe that I had not have a single entry in my blog last September. The thought is just so superficial. And in just that one month (or more), a lot has transpired in my life.

Keichi Shimizu of La Corda d'oro and Nate River of Death Note celebrated their birthdays last August 24 and guess what? Near had just turned 15 if Death Note was on real time. Oh, did I mention that Kakei Juubei of Getbackers had his on August 21, two days before Near and Shimizu-kun's birthday. I joined a poster-making contest last August, too, and although I didn't like it, our team won.

September starts off with Mobile Suit Gundam Seed Destiny's Shinn Asuka's birthday. And it also starts off with my "editor-dono" and I making our own manga. Editor-dono is to make the story while I dash off to drawing. I'll tell the story's details later, perhaps. My brat sister had her birthday last September 11 and my gift for her was to tease her about the 9/11 bombing. Kind of wrong, isn't it?

Next was the announcement in our Economics class that we are going to sell some products. Our group picked up the European theme. We all kind of wished we had picked Asia 'cause we'd all like to cosplay in Shinigami attires and sell dango. But we didn't give up the cosplay idea yet. So we agreed to have a café cosplay instead. Yes, the girls are going to dress up in black & white maid outfits and the guys with their black vest are going for the usual anime waiter mode. I'm so excited. We also decided that our motiff would be French-styled (we had to pick a particular country too). So I started practicing some bonjour and salut to prepare for this anime event *cough* I mean, Economics activity. Just a while ago, our group pumped up with overalls and became the architects, engineers, foremen and carpenters of our mini-bistro. Oui! A bistro. The menu would be some pizza/pasta-dish, a petit gateau, a sain lait esclabousse and a schmooze drink. Please pray for our success.

And, yes I remember. Can anyone tell me when is Abe no Yasuaki of Harukanaru Toki no Nakade celebrates his birthday? In my database, it has a confusion between September 14 or 21. Do help to clarify!

As much as I was ecstatic, I also had a bad experience last month. I put shame unto myself more than ever. I was put to shame in front of the whole school. The impact was so shocking that I felt I would not be able to go to school for awhile. I just stood on the stage , along with some colleagues, unprepared and in doubt of my capabilities. My confidence betrayed me and stage fright proved to be dominant to my system. So I walked out in front of everyone else and ran to the farthest corner in my school where there is no soul to be found. I immediately blamed myself with that predicted and assumed failure. Let me explain. The moment that certain task was given, my mind instantaneously told me to back-out. To quit. To forfeit. To indulge myself to the cowardice inside of me. But I held back since I was told of things which meant for me that I was truly needed for that sort. And undoubtedly, I failed. I tried to sneak out of school but I then again failed because I stupidly ramped at the main gate. Stupid me. Only when my ride came that I got to escape that "narrow" space. And as if it were fate that the rain started to fall when I snuck up in the corner I told you while waiting for my ride home. And that same rain had stop by the time the car transversed the forest-like part of the route. Then there I saw it. A message God sent me to comfort me from my depression.

A rainbow with its mirage reflection trailing after it. The sight was so beautiful and inspiring. It almost brought out tears in my already blurry eyes. I held back my tears and welcomed the rainbow as a promise for tomorrow. Thank you Lord.

I wanted to continue this entry more but it seems that my sister, whose acts in which she uses less her left brain never fail to annoy me, has sucked out all my good mood. Therefore I'd like to fix things up and leave you all with Ulquiorra Cifer's Segunda Resurrecion:

Phase 14: SOS

2009-08-14T18:14:00.013+08:00

Hare Hare Yukai
Sunny Sunny Happiness

nazonazo mitai ni chikyuugi wo tokiakashitara
minna de doko made mo ikeru ne

jikan no hate made Boooon!!

*WARP de LOOP na kono omoi wa
nani mo kamo wo makikonda souzou de asobou

aru hareta hi no koto
mahou ijou no yukai ga
kagirinaku furisosogu fukanou janai wa
ashita mata au toki warainagara HUMMING
ureshisa wo atsumeyou
kantan nanda yo konna no
oikakete ne tsukamaete mite
ooki na yume & yume suki deshou?

If we can map out all of Earth's mysteries,
We will be able to go to any place we want.

Until the end of time, Boooon!!

*With a warp, this looping feeling
Swirls everything together and
plays around with them.

On a particular sunny day,
A happiness greater than magic
Will pour down endlessly. It's not impossible!
When we meet again tomorrow,
we'll laugh and hum a tune.
Let's collect all the happiness,
It's easy, there's nothing to it.
Chase after them and try to catch them,
You love big dreams, right?



My friends and I are cramming to
memorize the dance steps.
Hope we succeed! Can anyone translate the
Get Backers Manga for me. Yes, volume 21-39.
Here's the link:
I WANT YOU TO READ GET BACKERS YATTA!
BYE BYE!
OH AND I THANK MY KOUHAIs FOR ADDRESSING ME AS SENPAI!!

Phase 13: Cognito Ergo Sum

2009-08-14T17:56:00.002+08:00

"I think, therefore I am"

Starting today I want to follow my own will and stop letting others make me do something wrong. I've had enough of their nonsensical reasons. I don't want to fall for their "share your blessings" nor "compare a bit" nor "give a little idea" as their way to pick a person's brain. Yes, those are meager excuses to cheat, plagiarize and duplicate the works of those who really spent time to think, analyze and sweat to solve problems. I want to live a carefree life wherein everybody goes by the good side which such scenario is yet or quite impossible to become true.
Little by little, I try to discard my feelings of uneasiness by letting go of petty emotions. I know I can do it. Bye!

Phase 12: Break the Ice

2009-08-01T11:15:00.008+08:00

I want to share this literary spoof I picked up just a while ago, in my bookworm expeditions. Please read it analytically and patiently.

THE NARRATIVE OF CARLOS AND RITA

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During a previous interval of my animate existence, I endeavored to communicate journalistically and was confronted by a primordial dilemma of the Fourth Estate: striving to establish equilibrium betwixt punctilious ideograms and perspicuity.

My labor manifested itself as insurmountable, exacerbated by my inherent proclivity to loquacity and polysyllables. I essayed voluminously to transmit enlightenment; however, lucubrations were perpetually spurned for their verbosity. My editor beseeched me to “write simply”.

I ventured to enact his counsel, though I faltered at comprehending the advantages to incomplex dissertation. I proffered the ensuing portraiture:

Carlos and Rita

Scrutinize Carlos. He retains seizing of an orb. It is a rubineous, rotundate, polysynthetic spheroid.

Carlos hurls the globe to his feminine sibling Rita. She apprehends the projectile with her digitals and propels it to remoteness.

“Reclaim,” she entreats Bantay.

Her domesticated quadruped departs in quest of the geoid and redeems it to Carlos and Rita.

Exemplary canine, Bantay,” they extol.

The tract was published, but you can imagine my consternation, even abhorrence, when I took cognizance of the edited character of my anecdote.

Carlos and Rita

Look at Carlos. He has a ball. It is a red, round, rubber ball.

Carlos throws the ball to his sister, Rita. She catches the ball and throws it far.

“Fetch,” she says to Bantay.

Her pet dog runs after the ball and brings it back to Carlos and Rita.

“Good dog,” they say.

The butcher! What tragedy that editor wrought at the abattoir of his copy-reading desk. I have been monstrously wronged! How could he have replaced the beautiful, precise simplicity of my sketch with the hideous, ambiguous inanities he published?

I find it somehow funny and at the same time true. I want to thank the author, Frederick Kintanar, for this humorous piece. Thank you very much. For now, I would like to end my post with giving you the link on where to download Zensokyoku Character Album of La Corda d' oro. Goodbye!

I WANT TO DOWNLOAD TSUKI-KUN AND THE OTHER'S MUSIC!

Phase 12: Little by Little

2009-08-01T11:12:00.001+08:00

Ai Ai Gasa, is a single of Tegomass. Literally Ai ai gasa (相合傘) means to share an umbrella, however, it could also be read as "Love-Love Umbrella", as the word for love (愛) is also pronounced ai. As such, sharing an umbrella as a couple in Japan is considered a romantic expression, and teens often draw an umbrella with their name and the name of their crush, the way one would in a heart. In Tegomass's video, the two are creating rain to force a young boy and girl to walk under an umbrella together.

LYRICS OF NEO ANGELIQUE ABYSS AI AI GASA

"Yamanai amedane..." kimi wa utsumuita
Sono kata ga nurenaiyou kasa wo katamuketa
Kimi wa boku miage sukoshi yorisottane
Egaonomama ude wo daite chiisaku furueteiru

Chanto kyou wa kono omoi wo tsutaerunda
Kimi no koto akireruhodo suki ni natta

Aiaigasa no naka de
Komotta kanjyoumo sunao ni tsutaenaimama
Owari ni shinai youni
Toorisugiru ame ga sekashiteru
Chikazuita futari no amagoi

"Mousugu iedane..." kimi wa utsumuita
Namae yonde me ga attemo ienaikotoga aruyo

Chanto kyou wa kono omoi wo tsutaerunda
Kimi no koto akireruhodo suki ni natta

Ashita mo ame ga fure to
Negatte shimau boku no kakera mo usojyanaikara
Hikari ga koboreta toki
Toorisugiru ame ga waratteruyo
Modokashii futari no amagoi

Aiaigasa no naka de
Komotta kanjyoumo sunao ni tsutaenaimama
Owari ni shinai youni
Toorisugiru ame ga sekashiteru
Chikazuita futari no amagoi

Phase 11: Graffitti Drabble

2009-07-27T12:21:00.008+08:00

This is Aoi Kaji from La Corda d'oro~ Secondo Passo. He played the violin before then because of some "past", he shifted to viola. I feel so inspired while learning to play the violin. So far I am able to play basic ABC, variated Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Mary had a little lamb, Lightly Bow and this quite sentimental tune which I really don't know what's the title. But I am determined to play Schubert's Ave Maria, the La Corda d'oro version within this year. I am so excited.

Anyway, I am very happy to say that I have finished watching the three Kyo Kara Maou Seasons. From the petty adventures of a mere stranger Yuuri in and out of his Kingdom, to the defeat of the Soushou and finally to the end of Janus and the restoration of the Shinzoku Kingdom. Not to mention the plight of Yu-chan with Wolfram von Bielefeld, his fiance, with Conrad Weller, his nazekeoya, with his twisted buddy Murata Ken a.k.a. Daikenja, with the narcississtic Shinou, with stupid Dai Shimaron officers, with Shou Shimaron's king Saralegui, with Queen Alazon, and with the rest of both the mazoku and the world. I'll write more about it next time, okay.

Oh, and my heart almost failed me today when I thought Kanda Yu was to die. But he didn't, not yet. I missed Ulquiorra Schiffer terribly. Creepy is what I can make out of Namikawa Daisuke's Crush the WORLD down song.

Got to go! By the way, I want to tell Sasuke-kun happy birthday again. His tanjoubi was on July 23. Tanjoubi Omedetto Sasuke-kun, though belated. WAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oH, GOMEN NE SASUKE-KUN..next year i'll try to post a big big tribute for your birthday. Sasuke-kun ga suki ni suki ni tama ra nai. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE, don't be like that.

Phase 10: Kyo Kara Mangaka

2009-07-13T14:17:00.008+08:00

Starting from today, I will be a mangaka!! Jchoke! Anyway, it's a little beginner's project and I haven't really made anything that special just yet! Yatta! I'm so excited. I hope I will draw much better with each passing day, enough that I'd be able to show it here. This post will be really short. But before I end, please click to this link: TSUKI NO KAKERA. It's a song sung by Tsukimori Len's seiyuu!! Oh, and please read this silly page00 of a manga a picked up while flying through web pages yesterday. Bye~bye! Te-heh!!

Phase 9: A Little Commotion

2009-07-05T10:13:00.000+08:00

Yey!! After all those non-computer days, I've finally seen my blog again. You see our computer was totally reformatted by an unknown third party and I wasn't able to access my account for days in which in those particular days, a lot happened. I would have preferred to write about them when the memory was still fresh but due to such technical problem, well...my bad.

Scenario #1: I have a colleague who has this so-called self proclaimed disorder wherein that person would be totally oblivious to everything that the particular person does whenever that certain person has this self proclaimed incessant migraine. And to think this subject is, they say, a genius, an IQ above others. At first, when I was still ignorant of that person's past, I thought that that person was like a happy-go-lucky gay-kind-of-fellow. But NO! Well I don't know. My friend told me that based from her personal encounter with that creature (which involves face scratching, perverted advances and i-own-the-world air), that person was all fat, grease and dirt. I was about to agree when something hit me when I went to Mass. Rejection. I felt that what if I were that person, totally rejected by everyone around him. There and then, I felt pity. But I personally didn't want to associate myself with such a person. Basically I'm somewhat afraid that the subject would ruin my lifelong built mask of calm demeanor. I don't want to get to the point wherein I'd be driven to insanity and give in to my desire of using anime-learnt combat skills on that person. But then again, I'm open for advices.

Scenario #2: I am now taking a music course at our school. Yes, it is on playing the violin. There's only one of my classmate taking up the violin. I think it is kind of natural since his older brother plays the violin. Our class is composed of five classical and acoustic guitar students, four violin students, two drum students, a keyboard student and four music teachers for each instrument. The seniors and juniors held joint classes since there were very few pupils enrolling in the music course. We all started a t note-reading which was kind of fun and at the same time frustrating (that is if you made a mistake). Our teacher in note reading was very interesting because he is kind of comical and guess what, he likes anime. He even told us that if a drummer can't handle reading two musical staffs, the one with the G-clef and the one with the F-clef, and playing them at the same time then the drummer should use a Kage Bunshin No Jutsu. It comes with quirky hand seals okay. A junior who joined the violin class like me is coincedentally a fan of La Corda d'oro. She downright confessed to me that she wasn't at all interested at musical instruments until she was engrossed by the dashing Tsukimori Len and mostly of the serene Keiichi Shimizu. It was like a normal otaku conversation. Oh, and there's also this junior who belongs to the badminton class who can play the violin. Everyone was amazed at her since it was very rare to see students playing the violin at our school. It made me realize something. I wanted to play the violin so bad! Geez, but I'm kind of stupid, I have to work hard. Te-heh!!

Scenario #3: Physics is really fun. But I feel so stupid when it comes to negatives and positives.... Oh, how can I get so confused about that sort of thing. I'm nuts! I have to work hard. Really hard. Yes, I want to hire the Get Backers to retrieve my lost brain. I love the way my brain revolved two years ago. Now, I feel stupid and less confident in my math escapades. Lord, help me.

Scenario #4: I want to decide!! BLEACH or NARUTO!! SHINIGAMI or NINJA!! ARRANCAR or AKATSUKI!! BOUNTO or SOUND NINJAS!! WAHHHH!!! I wanted to prioritize my studies and take up the violin on my free time. But I can't live without anime, not that much as in with all the bloody part okay. With my very little much extra time left, I can only subscribe to one more gig. I am a dedicated person you know. I want to know everything there is in what I am interested in. So when it comes to big shot animes, I can only have one. But I can't let them go. I can't. Please help me!

I guess this is it for now. Till next time.

Phase 8: Opening the path of Music

2009-06-27T18:50:00.000+08:00

Lying down on my bed, I nudged a little to get myself on a comfortable position. I was very much in the mood to read. Yes, read. I wanted to read though my whole body feels sore and my eyelids were getting heavy. Well, walking around all day, doing chores and having a stressful brain boggling college prep course to attend to is not that tiring I guess. Well, I'm beat. But today was one of my "first" days.

I wanted to read. Let see. It wasn't exactly a book. It was more of a instruction module. "Violin Primer for Beginners" is its title. It was a Jim Tolles' 'most complete beginning violin method available' module. With it is a Audio CD with 14 songs for students to play for practice. So the point is? Yes! Finally I have my first ever, much anticipated and personal laminated dragon spruce 3/4 body violin. And though it wasn't the most expensive, it is very precious to me. It is this thing that I really felt my mother wanted to extend her outmost support to me and understand things about me though she hadn't had such insight way back before my existence. I love it. To the realm of dancing notes and fleeting melodies......wow, sounds like a dream.

Through learning how to play the violin and eventually being able to play it myself, I will be able to express myself in a whole new dimension. I feel that I would be able to reunite with the reconnaisance of the past and the beauty of sheer classisism. I won't deny the fact that if it hadn't been for La Corda d'oro. This might not have been possible. I might have never been into the violin. Thank you for the wonderful gift of music.

Alas, although I wanted to pour out more of these feelings of mine, I must say goodbye. I have to do more other things. Till then. But before I sign out, here's my first ever violin, the Laminated Dragon Spruce 3/4 body violin:

Phase 7: Confusion

2009-06-23T18:20:00.000+08:00

Heheheheh Not much for today. Really. I just have one thing to say for now: I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE TAKES ME FOR MY SISTER!! I have name for crying out loud. But I forgive them. I'm having major trouble in Physics and Calculus but I'll manage....somehow. Te-heh!!
And yes I know Sasuke-kun is the most common best buy bishie guy around...no joke. Hahahaha.
Ja Mata Ne!

Phase 6: The Capriccio of a Maiden's Mind

2009-06-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

Oh, I hate it! I am sick again. I hate how the slimy water in my nose drips and how my throat feels itchy and silly. My stomach hurts and my head aches. My temperature is a bit high too. I just hope I won't go through those coughing days again. I am really sick. But it isn't that bad, other people had worse. I pray that all of us will be well.

I just finished watching AIR TV throughout this fever and I'd say it is really dramatic. I admit. I really cried. Other people in this world go through much worse situations than we could ever imagine. Thank God for what you have now and be thankful. Mizusu is really worth symphatizing to. She's so kind-hearted and caring. Yukito-san is somehow...well I feel sad for him. But I hate Ryuuya-dono, I just don't like him. Period.

They're offering violin classes at our school at some price. I really wanted to join after the wonderful impact of the lovely La Corda D'oro~Primo Passo~ in my appreciation of classical music. From Beethoven's Op. 50 Romance No. 2 in F Major which cured the dolphin; Wieniawski's Polonaise Brillante No.1 in which Tsukimori-kun powerfully expressed the thought of opening up with regards to Kaho's barefoot vibrato via Chopin's Tristesse; the gentle expression of Chaconne's Vitali under Tsuki-kun's ministrations; Kaho-chan's Canon in D Major of Palchebel; the stunning Caprice No.24 of Paganini which set free the aloofness of Tsukimori Len and my personal favorite: the beloved Schubert's AVE MARIA which opened Hino Kahoko's ears to the magical sound of the violin and brought warmth to the once cold music of the aloof virtuouso Tsukimori Len. I just love the violin. Violin ga suki! But I kind of like the cello too. Hagi of Blood+ and Keichi Shimizu plays that solemn instrument. Should I take violin lessons? It is a bit much too costly. But, just like Hino Kahoko, I was helplessly entranced by its charm that I wanted to make beautiful music through it.

I guess this is it for now. But I shall leave thee a question: Should I take on the violin?

Phase 5: The Comeback

2009-06-16T19:35:00.000+08:00

Yes, I know! I know that I wrote how my first day in this school year turned out to be. But now somehow those feelings must have already faded in my system because this week was almost totally not that bad. I get to talk now. Hahahahahaha. I think that's stupid.

And since I am so in love with my train of thought at this moment, I'd like to spread this virus and let it infect everyone worldwide. Please watch the video! It's TONIGHT, TONIGHT, TONIGHT by the Beat Crusaders, Bleach 4th Opening Theme Song.

Well so much for being so negative, I might be a pessimist but I don't want to be one. Confused? Yagami Light of Death Note is such a positive person that he is not afraid of the impossible. Although if you watched how he turned out, that might not be the best example, eh? I know that even though I'm kind of dull, I can survive. Now that's positive thinking. This year might not be my anime year but I have to stick with my resolve for my future. Yes, the future. I'm planning to pursue a difficult course when I go to college. Well, for me, it might be hard. Oh, it's a negative thinking! No, I know I can surely pass and in the honor roll to boot. Hahahahahaha. Nothing is impossible. I just need to be positive. Of course. Click this link to learn more about what's it that I'm thinking: I wanna know!

Anyway that's it folks! (old stuff) Cha bye~bye

Phase 4: The Path to Fujoshi, I don't want to take! Part 2

2009-06-11T12:27:00.000+08:00

YES!! Yes I am aware that the "undeniably attractive brown eyed and haired angel" of the fiction world of fans, Kazu-chan is indeed a man as decreed on the day HE went out into the world through the hands of the one who drew him. But why is it that I really like the Kazuki-Juubei canon pairing. And as time passed by, I developed a certain liking to the rebellious Kazuki-Ban pairing and perhaps the rare Kazuki-Akabane tandem. There are times that I appreciate even a threesome (particularly a Juubei-Kazuki-Toshiki one) just so that Kazu-chan's involved. I mean HE is so dangerously pretty that he can be paired up with anyone.
I was becoming a fujoshi if I'd let it get in to me so much. Yes, a yaoi fan....and I despised it, truly I did! But I did not let my eyes feast upon somany GB yaoi pictures. I couldn't take it! You Know. I was not in to this things and my resolve is to be not into it. I decided! But that in itself is totally just wrong. I personally don't want involve myself in those yaoi stuff. So before HE and HIS harem becomes an obsession, I went to the light and try to distract myself with BLEACH, just to sway my mind out of the Get Backers Universe. Since it wasn't enough, I sprinkled some Neo Angelique Abyss Series to top and seal it off. I want to end that stupid fantasy. YES!
Up until now I still can't forget about Fuuchouin Kazuki no matter what I do. But I believed it has lessened thanks to Tegomass' Ai Ai Gasa and the whole Queen's Egg ruckus. Oh, and I also want to thank Kuchiki Byakuya, Ichimaru Gin and Ulquiorra Cifer for kinda saving me. AND NO!! No more yaoi anymore.
That's it. Te-heh!

Phase 3: Back to School Again

2009-06-10T19:07:00.000+08:00

"Yehey!! Yatta!!" A normal healthy high school girl would normally say that if it were the first day of her class but not for me. The first day of our class was entirely boring. It was still morning and the sun is up and full of heat and I was there yawning. Not that it was really boring, it was that I made it boring myself. Now that's stupid and selfish isn't it. I was one of the first people to arrive at school. Not because I was overly excited instead it was because my parents had me subscribe to a school service vehicle. I arrived an hour before the actual time the class starts. An extremely introvert person, I just stare into space as soon as I arrive and felt the least excitement while meeting my former classmates once again. Now that I realize it, I was being a jerk at the time. I was like the unfriendliest 'live ghost' in the whole campus. Everyone was so nice and they were so amiable yet I was so much of a jerk to reciprocate their good will. I feel really bad and I guess it was just all my fault for being so stupid and unreliable. I just hope I don't ruin anyone's life by my stupidity. Everyone was there to understand me and do I give them : a almost printed scowl on my face!
It makes me sad I'm like that. Not only that I am negatively affecting their lives, I am also hurting myself. I don't want to be shy-ghost anymore.
Well, this is much of a gloom-gloom chapter. Still I want to keep going. Anyway that's it for now.

Phase 2: The Path to Fujoshi, I don't want to take! Part 1

2009-06-07T19:11:00.000+08:00

It was the character Midou Ban and his looks that made me want to watch Get Backers for the first time (well that one when his hair was in the 'wet mode' and Get Backers was like, for me, one of the must see anime. I personally felt I must not miss it. That, what I just said, was also part of the reason.). But as I was watching the series, my "MOE-RADAR" suddenly shifted to this another character namely the ever so elegant and charismatic, Fuuchouin Kazuki. But the way (as an avid anime viewer) I felt about Ban is much more different yet somehow my fetish of the Fuuchouin is greater.
The truth behind that is that I was simply strucked by the beauty of Kazuki-san but STOP! Kazu-chan is but a anime character classified under the species with the XY chromosome. Why?? The image is from Volume 39 page 190 of the Get Backers Manga. Though I am not capable of reading it, well......
The point is... just look.. ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Oh and Saizou Toufuuin was the one who cut Kazu-chan's hair.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
When finally I thought I had found the ideal anime shoujo character and then... what the hell!!
She's a MAN in Japan..... a DUDE that looks like a CHICK( as some fanfic people would say and write about..). I was one of the million fools who got stuck in the web of confusion weaved by the Threadmaster's creator, the one who drew him, Rando Ayamine.

Well, for now, I won't let it stress me too much. But WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Then what the- is the deal with Kakei Juubei, Uryuu Toshiki and Saizou Toufuuin and the whole reverse-not 'harem' thing............ Hahahahahahaahahahahaahahahah!! *pause* haah!................... That is exactly why many 'beautifully done' doujinshis were done for them. Dear me! There was like this and that..... Ahhh, I don't want to mention those titles anymore. Unfortunately thosefour titles were so very un-PRINCE of fear-like.

There is someone fretfully annoying entity near me. So I guess this will be it for today. Until then I'll try not to support the "koibito pair" I kind of like the most... the seme-uke thing of yaoi pair:
Kazuki x Juubei!!! Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu!!

Phase 1: I'm here

2009-06-06T18:54:00.000+08:00

Yatta! 06-06 marks the beginning of my "blog journey" (or so what I want to coin it, personally I think it's cool but....oh, I don't know, anyway..) . Although I had already prepared this 'space' in the cyber world ages ago, I officially proclaim that my 'stupid yet probably psychological satisfying' posting shall have its 'opening' today.

Yuuri Shibuya, the main protagonist of Kyo Kara Maou, got flushed literally on a public women's comfort room toilet and fleetingly and unexpectedly had been announced to that he would be the 27th Maou of the Kingdom of Shin Makoku, the demon king. Not to mention the super unexpected event of him acquiring a male fiance (a bishounen one, at that!).
Kurosaki Ichigo, the orange-head "first prized guardian" of the infamous Bleach Series, met a 'cool' Shinigami unexpectedly and suddenly got involved in the middle of the blood drenched crossfire of battles. It was the night that changed his life forever.

The point? Geez, (I know the expression is lame but hey, anime characters do use that! "mataku!" or something like that...anyway....) it's in the age, people! Both were 15 year olds at that time when their life changed forever. The time when a streak of light, a dazzling kind of light, shot through the darkness of their mediocre lives which eternally changed them, altering the consistent weaved pattern of their fate. But the point within that point is, (which is virtually what again?) I am now 15 years old. Simple as that but complicated in its depth. (ah, what was that again?) All my life, I have been living in the shadows. Just looking at what others do and letting them run things around, since I'm too shy to take myself there. I know I was the one at fault for these collected feelings. Feelings of shame, uncertainty, mistrust and total lack of self-confidence, all of these I harbored in all those years. But now is the time to tell others that "I'm here!", to show them what I am and what I am capable of, to make them be aware that I existed and yes, I am me! Easy to type, easy to write and easy to say, but I know it is really hard to do especially I'm at the jounin level of a introvert.

That's were the essence of being 15 comes. This time I need to search for this light well enough. Not too much, not so least. This light will be a door which will show me a new path, the one paved for me to sink my feet on to suffer, learn, enjoy and at the end succeed. YES!

In addition to all of that, I must do well as a 06-06 kid. Well, if I won't what would June 6 birthday celebrants Kanda Yu of D.Gray.Man and Shin Ikari of Neon Evangelion Genesis would say.

This 'chapter' might sound like a prelude to an anime series or just a very overstated and exagerrated speech about my average life but well who cares! This wouldn't be called blog if i can't at least express even a drop of my overflowing yet invisible feelings.

So now it ends folks (whoever you are or if you even exist). Ahhh, I want to sleep now I'm soooo tired!!